Here are all the lyrics and some of the chords for our album ‘File Under Fiction’. All songs are composed by Nick Turner and Findlay Napier and are published by Watercolour Music Ltd.

 

File Under Fiction

 

G6 Tuning (DGDGBE)

 

V1

She runs her fingers down the spines

of the books in her library.

Under covers, between the sheets, lies the man she dreams about 

Constantly

 

V2

It’s not a stereotype the font of wisdom says

“Wait for the perfect first edition”;

pot boiling, bodice ripping

Perfect He

 

CH

Mills and Boon – File under Fiction

Mr Darcy’s Under Fiction

Passion Plays –File under Fiction

 

V3

So the lovers in her life won’t leave the appendices

She stamps the books and bites her lip;

Long overdue, left on the shelf

“Silence Please”

CH

M8

At the window she will stand

Austen and Hardy in either hand

Cartland or Dickens can give no hint

She waits for her love to come

out of print

 

V4

Late one night she meets the man that’s bound to set her free

With fluttering heart she has to ask

She knows this is her only chance

Draws a breath and then at last

Ten pence please

CH (With Variaton)

 

Don’t Look in My Eyes

V1

We parted with an awkward embrace

No longer able to share the same space

Few words exchanged though love is not blind

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

 

V2

I’m the guy that kept your love unrequieted

But if you saw the fuse you still had to light it

I had to make the cut I know it was unkind

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

 

M81

Too many nights dining alone

Too many nights waiting for your man to come home

A Walk is not the same when you’re on your own

Your left howling in the darkness after everyone has gone

 

Inst:

 

V4

You may think that I don’t care

I’ve grown used to this over the years

They come and they go a never ending line

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

M82

Too many nights dining alone

Too many nights waiting for your man to come home

It’s a dog’s life there’s no need to whine

I won’t look in your eyes if you won’t look in mine

I can’t look in your eyes please don’t look in mine

I can’t look in your eyes

 

Cutting Her in Two

 

D D\C# Bm Gmaj7

They’re getting to you aren’t they those nails are way too red

D D\C# D\C Gmaj7

Now concentration’s everything if the saw slips she is dead

A7 Bbdim Bm

To prove she is all there she waves and moves her foot

A7 Gm7 D A7 A7\G

And you’re heart beats so loud it wakes the doves inside your suit

 

CHORUS: D F#7 G Gm7

She’s just the woman you cut in two

D Bbdim G A7

It’s her hired help that hypnotises you

Bbdim G\B D\A

Every little movement mesmerises

B7

Confronting her would not be wise

G A7 D

And thank god she can’t read your mind

 

BRIDGE:

G A7 D

I’m cutting her in two. She cuts me in two

 

You fumble through some card tricks and read some punters mind

Ask her out to dinner surely the wouldn’t cross the line

But this magic lark’s a bore, she doesn’t rate the show

And every night another waits with flowers at the stage door

 

CHORUS

INSTRUMENTAL MIDDLE 8 Gm D\F#

 

I’m cutting her in two. She cuts me in two

Gm A7

I’m cutting her in two. She cuts me in two

D D\C# Bm Gm7

 

Every trick that’s in the book just gets the evil eye

The elephant that’s in the room gets harder to disguise

There’s nothing left up my sleeves the hat is filled with doubt

A7 Bbdim Bm

Wristwatch smashed my minds a blank, did I hear a shout?

The audience begins to swim and then the lights go out

 

One For the Ditch-

VERSE 1

Whisky with water is good for the soul

But without a peat fire it’s no use at all

Whisky with ginger goes down a treat

But if you’re killing a memory it’s best taken neat

 

CHORUS:

One for ignition, two for the road

Three for the ditch walk the rest the way home

 

VERSE 2

First foot’s the hardest in the new years snow

Lying in the ditch time to get up and go

Point to the stars wouldn’t it be fine

To know with some kind of certainty that one of them was mine

 

CHORUS

 

MIDDLE 8

There’s fireworks and dancing the bottle goes round

Bm C D Bm7Everyone’s lined up parties all over townEm7 Bm7 D11 CÆ

And just as it gets to ‘Wild Mounting Time’D

The couples stream off in disorderly lines

 

INSTRUMENTAL: 2nd half verse then once through chorus

Repeat VERSE 1

CHORUS

Valentine’s Day

 

Stood up, I think I’ve been stood up

Didn’t expect this to happen again

I send the flowers, I send the cards

But every year it’s the same

I’m the odd man out, don’t even make the count

All the other tables have an even number

Waiter please hide me in the corner

 

On Valentine’s day, valentine’s day

What’s the point if you don’t get your way

On valentine’s day

 

Locked out can’t believe I’ve been locked out

Didn’t expect this to happen again

Key’s on the table next to one empty glass

Won’t go back and suffer the shame

It doesn’t rain it pours

I should get used to my dreams being ignored

Sit on the front step watch the lovers lights dim

Chips and beer not oysters and champagne

 

On Valentine’s day, valentine’s day

What’s the point if you don’t get your way

On valentine’s day

 

Can’t sleep, I still can’t sleep

Didn’;t expect this to happen again

Head under the pillow to drown out the noise

The couples upstairs make the lampshade sway

It’s not the end of the world,

there must be another odd girl

Who’ll arrive on time with a smile on her lips

Who’ll sit on my step share my beer and my chips

 

On Valentine’s day, valentine’s day

What’s does it matter if you don’t get your way

On valentine’s day, On valentine’s day

What’s does it matter if you don’t get your way

 

Spread Thin

 

V1

Stripped bare in the kitchen light

It hurts when I move

Threadbare and fragile to the kettles applause

I stare at my reflection bent up in a spoon

Cut scenes of a busy evening

Past midnight don’t need love, just company

Life rolls by on LP sleeves

Don’t even like her but she’s coming home with me

 

CHORUS

Spread thin around the city

You shouldn’t hate me you should just feel pity

Spread thin around the city

While your good looks last you still look pretty

Still look pretty

 

V2

She closed the door quietly

I heard the bolt shoot home and all was still

High heel echoes in the tiled close

Ricochet like stray bullets looking for a kill

And I checked my wallet open by the bedside

Counted the money and some of it was gone

Barefooted I scanned the debris of last night

I could just make her out in stale smoke and old perfume

 

M8:

Here we go again, its another Saturday night

At someone else’s party

 

V3

Time to make sense time to make a move

Time to let the sunlight into these rooms

There’s dust and there’s cobwebs I can’t bear to see

Dark corners, painful memories

Stars and signs have been strangers

Spread my arms full wide gather all I can hold

Press it into one tight ball

Like it’s all the love I’ve ever known

 

Heels Over Head

 

VERSE 1

I’m about as rock and roll as a cup of tea and an early night

Half past nine I’m in my bed, read for a while turn out the light

Most of her’s pierced more than once, dyed red hair and too much makeup

There’s bits of her that bounce I shouldn’t stare but this is human

 

VERSE 2

Nature’s interfering with my carefully structured life

I’m uncomfortable with change, feels like I’m balanced on a knife

I can’t stand her laugh but crave it, she eats too loud and doesn’t listen

The girl mum would’ve hated, shows too much flesh, but this is human

 

CHORUS

Heels over head: Play it safe you still end up dead

Heels over head; Each to their own and their own bed

Heels over head

 

VERSE 3

I don’t care of she laughs at me in my Birthday suit

I overheard her tell her friends that she thinks small men are cute

She’s experienced enough for both of us, well it’s her job she does these movies

What’s strange is I’m not jealous, she explained that it’s just human

 

CHORUS

M8

Friends say I’m not for her, but one girl’s meat in another’s poison

Some men need whipped into shape but for me that’s not a turn on

 

VERSE 4

Now we’re about as rock and roll as a cup of tea and an early night

Half past nine we’re in our bed, don’t read at all turn out the light

I thought I’d leave her more than once I can’t keep away despite all reason

She could have anyone she wants but she chose me and she’s not leaving

 

CHORUS x 2

 

Cut Me Off

 

Intro:You got a restraining order, now I keep 50 yards away

So I spray I love you ten feet tall, over the road from where you stay

 

V1:

I’ve got a difficult face for drama ,the wrong attitude from the start

Each day’s a new audition always for the same part

 

V2:

A Ghost behind the movers van a ghoul beside the skip

There’s one thing we agree on I’m getting on your tits

 

CH:

Cut me off I’ll grow back bigger

Cut me off I’ll grow back bigger

Cut me off I’ll grow back bigger

 

V3

I could never be tall dark and handsome, short fat and lonely that’s me

But perched on a ladder at midnight, it’s a possible two out of three

 

CH:

 

Mid 8:

You got a restraining order, now I keep 50 yards away

So I spray I love you ten feet tall, in red paint upon the wall

Over the road from where you stay

 

V4

I never thought it could happen, I’m loosing interest in you

You no longer draw the curtains, and you wander about in the nude

And now crave my attentions; you chased my bus all the way home

I found your bike clips on the front lawn, was that you panting on the phone?

Was that your pant’s on the lawn?

 

CH:Out:

I got a restraining order, to keep you 50 yards away

As the spray paint of I love you starts to fade

Your tattoos of me are here to stay

You’re over the road, not far away

 

Waiting in the Wings

 

V1

The party’s over; the plates all cleared,

At the kitchen sink the memories swim.

From the front room the laugher drifts in.

You heave a sigh for this has been your life,

 

CH

Waiting in the Wings never ready for the stage

Resigned to your life taught to act your age

Not the model housewife on the magazine’s front page

Waiting in the Wings

 

V2

If you could reach back through the years,

Would you stop the girl to tell her why?

As she walks past down the aisle,

What could have been what should have been is now…

 

CH

 

M8

There’s the boy so in love with you.

He promised the earth but you just got the moon.

You would have danced but now just hum the tune.

 

V3

So you tell the kids that life’s too short;

Don’t let the moment pass you by.

But when the grand children come along,

You wear a smile for this has been your life

 

CHY

ou’ve waited in the wings, you were never for the stage

Not the model housewife on the magazine’s front page

Never knew your life would grow better day by day

Waiting in the Wings

Waiting in the wings, you were never for the stage

Not the model housewife on the magazine’s front page

Never knew your life would grow better day by day

 

Raise a Glass

 

V1

Monday comes with beating drums and the order to advance

The platform’s lined with sleepy soldiers swaying in their ranks

In the general office where the figures are dispatched

They post a list of casualties from the latest failed advance

Pre CH:

Later in the cubicle dug in and solitary

It’s the bottom rung of the ladder shoring up the company

 

CHORUS:

Raise a glass, raise a glass‘Cos this time next year

I’ll be out on my ownI’m getting out of here

 

V2

Tuesday’s just like Monday and Wednesday’s the same

Once more round the hamster’s wheel then sleep walk home again

On Thursday’s staff briefing we wait in battle dress

It’s left to us soldiers to clean up the office mess

 

CH

M8

With each piece in place the timing will be clear

Like a rat from a trap I’m out of here

Without me this place will be finished within the year

 

V3

The board room door’s revolving they don’t bother with brass plates

It’s a paper card hanging beneath some unfamiliar face

The years go on the company drum still beats the advance

There are always fresh recruits to swell the falling ranks

 

One For Me

 

VERSE 1

All the stars were out that night with the world and his wife,

For the wedding of the year.

But the lights they fade, the cameras stopped rolling

And we were all alone.

 

VERSE 2

What do you say to the girl that everybody loves,That everybody shares.

To tell her once

what she’s heard more than a thousand times,

With words so fine and rare.

 

CHORUS

I’ll say it loud, I’ll say it clear

you are the one for me my dear.

Say it loud, say it clear,

say it when no-ones here.

 

VERSE 3

The silver screen flickers and glows and everybody stares, everybody knows,

They all love her,

they don’t know a thing about me.

All that glitters is gold. 

 

VERSE 4

You were the boy that dared to ask when no-one ever tried, no-one ever cared,

To tell me once

or tell me a thousand times,

In their own sweet words

 

CHORUS

So say it loud and say it clear,

You are the one for me my dear.

Say it loud, say it clear,

say it with just me here.

 

BRIDGE

And if the world stopped turning I’d be still here with you.

 

VERSE 5

All the stars were out that night with the world and his wife,

For the wedding of the year.

But the lights they fade, the cameras stopped rolling

And we were all alone.